The holiday season, so often already layered with joy and nostalgia, can be a source of stress even before we get there, can't it? Add the complexity of an election season, and tensions can quickly escalate— at work, in family gatherings, or within our communities. Power struggles seem to bubble up everywhere, and emotions run high as we try to balance differences in opinions, choices, and values. Guess what though, in the midst of this, there lies an opportunity: to practice seeing the good in each other and finding connection despite our differences.

Power struggles happen because each of us, at our core wants the same basic things: safety, love, respect, and happiness. Yet, the ways we pursue those desires can vary greatly based on our upbringing, culture, and individual perspectives. These differences can feel like threats when we’re caught up in heated conversations about politics, family traditions, or personal choices.

I bet you can already envision a heated dinner table debate about the election and what's ahead. One person may see their stance as the only way to be, while another believes their opposing view is the best way. Both genuinely believe they’re advocating for what’s best, but the emotional intensity can create walls of defensiveness and judgment.

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Seeing the Good Intent

In times like these it’s easy to assign negative intentions to others. “They just want to be difficult” or “They don’t care about what’s right.” But what if we paused to consider that everyone makes choices they believe will lead to happiness or meet a need they value?

When someone makes a choice we don’t agree with—whether it’s a vote for a candidate we oppose or a decision about how to celebrate the holidays—it’s often done with good intent in their own mind. It might be they are protecting something they deeply care about or acting out of fear of losing something important to them. This doesn’t mean we have to agree with their choice, but recognizing their humanity softens our need to “win” the argument.

Can We Agree to Disagree?

So, how do we reduce power struggles is to acknowledge that it’s okay to agree to disagree. Remember that not every topic really needs resolution. If a discussion feels like it’s headed toward a dead-end of frustration, and arguments, why do you need to go there right now, in this moment, eh? Why not shift the focus to something you can connect over? Talk about shared memories, a mutual hobby, or simply express gratitude for the person’s presence in your life. Find something to appreciate about them.

When we can find common ground, it reminds us there is more that unites us than divides us. A disagreement over politics doesn’t have to define a relationship, just as differing opinions on holiday traditions don’t negate the shared love and respect within a family or workplace.

Recognizing Emotional Triggers

Power struggles are often fueled by emotional triggers—those moments when something said or done feels like a personal attack. We take it personally. Perhaps it’s a tone of voice, a specific phrase, or an assumption that hits a nerve. Recognizing these triggers in ourselves is key. When we feel the heat of anger or frustration rising, it’s a sign to pause, breathe, and reflect.

What’s underneath that feeling? Is it personal? Is it an opinion? Is it fear of being misunderstood? A need for validation? When we're aware of our triggers, we can choose to respond rather than react. Yep, something that is seemingly simple can prevent misunderstandings from escalating.

Practicing Equanimity: Letting Others Be

One of the most compassionate things we can do is to let others be who they are. Equanimity doesn’t mean we stop caring or turn a blind eye to injustice; it means we release the need to fix others. Instead of trying to change someone’s mind, can we simply listen and acknowledge their perspective? Can we hold space for them to feel seen and heard?

When we approach others with equanimity, we create room for understanding and mutual respect. The walls that divide us—judgment, defensiveness, and the need to be “right”—begin to crumble, making way for genuine connection.

You know what? Sometimes someone feels they never get to have their say, and when you listen with the intent to just listen, it often is all they really wanted anyway. Can you remember a time that was true for you?

Building Bridges, Not Walls

This holiday and election season, let’s commit to seeing the good in each other and remind ourselves that we’re all seeking wellbeing and happiness in our own way, even when those ways differ. By practicing compassion, recognizing our shared humanity, and embracing equanimity, we can navigate power struggles with grace.

The goal isn’t to avoid all conflict but to approach it with kindness—for the good of all. After all, the walls we put up between us only separate us from what we all truly desire: connection, understanding, and joy. Let’s work toward building bridges instead.

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